


Shelter Me (In Your Arms)

by DemigodNamedAthena



Series: Royal Logince AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I just wrote a five page paper and this was my reward for finishing lol, It is midnight and I am gay and tired so there's probably quite a few typos, Let me know if I need to add any tags!, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Roman is a good boyfriend, Scars, The scars are from whipping and theres no modern medicine so they're nasty, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 21:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemigodNamedAthena/pseuds/DemigodNamedAthena
Summary: It is dark in the bed chamber.It shouldn't be dark, Logan realizes, and he tries to swallow the panic that rises in his chest when he realizes that he can't see anything. In the months since his return, Roman has left a candle burning in their room every night, never once complaining about having his rest disturbed by the light.Or:Logan's been home for months, but he's still working through the trauma
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Royal Logince AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1406908
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	Shelter Me (In Your Arms)

It is dark in the bed chamber. 

It shouldn't be dark, Logan realizes, and he tries to swallow the panic that rises in his chest when he realizes that he can't see anything. In the months since his return, Roman has left a candle burning in their room every night, never once complaining about having his rest disturbed by the light. 

But the candle is out now, and there is nothing but inky darkness around him. Logan reaches out on the bed for Roman. He's sure he'll be able to fight this panic down in Roman's arms, but his hand meets cold sheets instead of a warm body. 

Fear grips him, stronger than before.

"Roman?" He calls and hears his voice crack on the second syllable. There's no response and Logan strains his eyes in an attempt to discern something through the dark.

Logan feels his breath get stuck in his chest and ice fill his veins.

He tries to remember the rhythm of breath he used to guide Virgil through, but focus slips out of his hands like water. The terror of the unknown presses in around him-  _ are they coming to take him? To hit him? To find new ways to apply pain and pull secrets from his bloodied lips? Did he ever even leave that cave? _

The last thought made Logan whimper involuntarily, terror at going back to that hell seizing his muscles.

Through his turmoil, he heard the door creak.

He jerked his head up and saw a figure outlined in the doorway, illuminated by torchlight from the hallway. For one brief, shining moment, he thought it was Roman. But doubt creeped in as the figure continued to stand there. Roman would not linger like that, not when Logan was curled into a ball in the middle of their shared bed.

He scrambled away, his legs tangled in the blankets. 

"No, no go away!"

The figure stepped forward, its presence looming larger. Logan flinched and tried to extricate himself from the blankets. The figure stepped closer to the bed and Logan wondered how he had thought this was Roman, this creature with its terrifying energy.

It leaned forward and a hand shot out to grip Logan's arm, nails digging into his skin. He struggled against it, adrenaline breaking through the fear. 

"We've got you now, Clarke. You're not getting away from us this time."

The voice of the person who had taunted him as they whipped his back echoed in the room. Logan could feel phantom pain on his back, the skin tearing open, and his heart thudded to a stop in his chest as he realized that he would have to relieve the horror again.

Logan screamed.

**~~~**

Logan jerked upright in bed, a scream burning his throat as he scrambled out of bed and hit the floor. There was noise all around him, and it took him a moment to realize that he was the source of it. He clamped a hand over his mouth and sobbed. His face was wet with tears, and through his trembling a faint note of relief struck his mind.  _ It was just a dream.  _ He pulled his knees to his chest and shook, drawing in gasping breaths.

“Logan?”

A voice in front of him. Concern laced in it.

“Logan, can you hear me? You’re okay, dearest, I’m here, it was just a dream. You’re safe.” 

_ Roman. _

Logan opened his eyes and was met with the sight of his lover kneeled in front of him, hands at his sides, concern written in every line of his face. Candle-light flickered across his features and the knot in Logan’s chest loosened in the warm glow. His surroundings were coming back into focus and careful scan of the room confirmed that they were alone. It was just Roman and himself.

“Lo? Please, you’re scaring me. Can I touch you?”

Logan’s gaze darted back to Roman and he tried to fight back the fear clouding his mind. Roman has asked him a question. He needed to answer. The words were stuck in his throat. He registered that he was shaking and felt shame prickle at his skin that Roman was seeing him so completely undone. 

Roman seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and he learned forward, taking Logan's hands in his own. He rubbed circles with his thumbs and held tight. 

"I have you, love. Breathe with me, okay?"

He took an exaggerated breath in, blowing it out slowly. Logan tried to copy, but the task seemed monumentally difficult. He still felt  _ exposed _ , as if someone could grab him and tear him away from Roman and back to that dark cave. Roman repeated the breath again and again, Logan failed. He was painfully aware of the space around him. 

Roman squeezed his hands and momentarily held Logan's attention. There was rapidly growing concern in his eyes and Logan's heart ached that he was disappointing him.

"How can I help you, Logan? What do you need?"

What did he need?

He needed to feel safe. Like the world wasn't about to tumble down around him. He needed Roman to hold him.

Roman's arms were safety and love and warmth. Even before they had admitted mutual affection for each other, Logan had admired Roman's arms. They were tan and well muscled from hours spent training out in the sun. And then, in the months and eventual years after they had started courting, Roman's arms had taken on a new meaning for Logan. They were home.

He felt like he was shaking out of his skin and he scrambled forward into Roman's chest.

Roman wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. The warm bands of muscle held Logan together as he shook apart in Roman's arms, finally able to close his eyes and not feel the all encompassing terror of darkness. He could feel Roman's heartbeat from where he was pressed against him, and the steady rhythm helped him control his breath. 

"I got you, love. It's okay, you're okay."

Roman smelled like parchment and sleep. Logan breathed deep as the last of his shakes faded away. 

"Do you want to get back in bed?" Roman asked. His breath ghosted across Logan's ear and made him shiver. Logan nodded his affirmation and Roman scooped him up before depositing him on the bed. He kept his eyes open and watched Roman walk around the bed before he got in himself. Roman’s arms were back around him then, and Logan relaxed into the touch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Roman asked, voice low and rumbling in his chest. 

Logan licked his dry lips and fought the urge to break eye contact.

“I dreamt that the lights were out.” He begins, hesitant. He doesn’t usually talk about his dreams. “I was scared, and you were gone. And then there was this...figure...in the doorway, and I thought it was you but it  _ wasn’t,  _ it was  _ them,  _ and they told me that I was going to go back to that cave, that I’d never actually escape them...and then I woke up.” Logan didn’t realize that he was crying until a warm palm cupped his cheek and Roman’s thumb swiped away some of the tears. He leaned into the comfort, eyes fluttering shut.

“You’re safe, my love. I won’t let anything happen to you, and I’d never leave you.” Roman pressed a kiss to Logan’s forehead and his free hand travelled over Logan’s shoulder and down onto his back, fingers tracing the scars there. Logan shifted away from the touch and Roman frowned, sitting up slightly.

“Do they hurt, Logan?” His tone was worried and Logan shook his head.

“No, they do not pain me. I just don’t like them. They’re ugly.”

Pain flashed over Roman’s face before disappearing.

“Logan, dearheart, nothing about you is ugly. These scars are marks of bravery higher than any medal I could give you. And more importantly, they’re part of you. I love you, trauma and all, scars and all.” And before Logan was even halfway through processing those words and the subsequent emotions that came with them, Roman was sitting up and rolling him onto his stomach.

“Clearly,” -His voice came from above Logan, with a smile Logan could hear, if not see- “I haven’t done a good enough job of showing you how beautiful you are.” And then lips were pressing against the sin of Logan’s shoulder, at the very top of one of the longer scars. Logan shivered from head to toe and didn’t protest as Roman’s lips traced the disfigured flesh from the top of his shoulder, down to the small of his back. 

Logan couldn’t say how much time had passed since Roman first kissed him, but his limbs had melted into the bed and tears were wetting the pillow as Roman touched his lips to Logan’s other shoulder in one last, reverent kiss. 

No words were said as he rolled over and buried his head in Roman’s chest, Roman’s figers finding their way to his hair. Logan’s heart ached with love, and sometimes he wondered if there was no limit to the love he felt for Roman. Somehow the thought didn’t frighten him.

He fell asleep easily, Roman’s arms still around him.

He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovely reader!  
Wowie, it's been a hot minute since I last posted. It's NaNoWriMo, which means that I am currently writing a novel (!!!), and that has unfortunately sucked a lot of my fanfic writing time away. I enjoyed writing this piece though! It was a nice change of pace from my novel. If you enjoyed it, maybe leave a comment? Even just a keysmash fills my heart with joy.  
Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/demigodnamedathena)  
-Peace and love, Athena


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